By: SA Rowner
The jet ski pricing at JSK was reasonable, the machines in great condition, and most importantly, the people nice.
Our guide pointed out a massive manatee hanging out by the docks to us. He explained that being creatures that live primarily in salt and brackish water, they love the treat of freshwater from the hose when he rinses the jetskis. Cool! It was great to have such a close-up opportunity with one of these unusual, humongous, slow-moving creatures, aptly nicknamed ‘seacows.’
We decided to start with an hour’s rental, mounted the machines, and off we went! Being islands curving off the bottom of Florida, the keys have the Atlantic ocean on one side, and the Gulf of Mexico on the other side. Interestingly, the water conditions can vary wildly, and that can work to one’s advantage.
Our guide told us that the ocean side would likely be rougher, but was happy to accommodate us giving it a shot, so we tried that first, but being quite choppy (hey, maybe our guide knows something, after all…), we crossed back to the gulf side and really enjoyed ourselves.
Our guide kept his distance, allowing us to go pretty much anywhere we wanted, but stayed within a mile or so of us – close enough to help if we experienced any issues.
We enjoyed ourselves to the max, and as a bonus, got 1 1/2 hours for the price of an hour, because he didn’t count the ocean side attempt towards our paid hour.
We took his card – great service definitely deserves referrals – and thanked him for a really great time.
Before we left, we took note that there was actually a number of very well kept houseboats parked by the marina – vacation rentals that were much higher priced than ours, but much more professionally managed and kept pristine. Although these had engines and could certainly drive, when rented, they would have to remain moored at the marina. Many might appreciate that experience, but I was much happier with the privacy and seclusion of our cove.
With no major plans for the day, we headed out to leisurely explore the area. The keys have this laid-back, island vibe, and nobody is in any kind of rush. It’s a great feeling unless you’re stuck behind someone leisurely enjoying the slower pace on the 2-lane overseas highway :).
There are tens of fishing charters alongside the roads, as the keys are known for incredible sportfishing, but they can get costly. While fishing isn’t something my wife is a fan of as the non-stop rocking motion of an ocean-going boat doesn’t suit her, my suggestion, if you want to try a fishing charter, is to shop from one captain to the next. A guy who isn’t busy or is simply more desperate for the business is more likely to throw you a deal or be negotiable.
But not going fishing, we walked the docks, watched the pelicans scramble for scraps, and saw tots of tarpon, big sportfish that were just hanging around the boats in the shallow waters. Hey, if big fish like that just hang around the docks, why even take the boat out? Just fish from the dock!
We relaxed for a bit, checked out a couple of tourist traps before heading back to our canoe, so we can embark to our accommodations before dark.
Being Tu B’shvat that night, we enjoyed an assortment of unique ripe shehechiyanu fruits we had purchased from Robert is Here, the world’s most incredible fruit stand on our way to the keys, in Homestead, FL, known as the ‘Gateway to the Keys’.
The next morning we awoke bright and early, as we had a snorkel trip booked, and we were also “checking out,” bringing all of our things back to the car by canoe.
We had arranged with a private guide to take us out to the reefs, but because we didn’t have cell service on the boat when he tried to call us, the guy literally jumped-ship on us and decided to accept a better-paying charter instead. So much for our deposit actually meaning any kind of commitment.
Well, we did see that JSK, the jetskiing guy from the day before offered snorkel tours, and we really liked their service, so we called our buddy and arranged a snorkel trip with him. Bonus, he charged us $150 less than the other guy, too.
We had a really enjoyable time once again, and our guide was super nice, pointing out unique places along the way, like a community where each family has a hangar for their private plane instead of a garage, and a runway instead of a main street!
Cool stuff. We headed back to the mainland for the night, had a great meal in Surfside, and stayed overnight in a cheap all-suite hotel to be closer to FLL for our flight back the next morning.
We know this type of trip is not for everyone, and when you’re ready for a relaxing Florida experience in which you can truly relax, not have to worry about chemical toilet odors, knowing how to canoe, or kasher a stove, you go to Florida Kosher Villas. You’ll be treated like royalty, and enjoy the tropical vibes with all the amenities of a vibrant frum community in the sun.
By SA Rowner
The world of social media sharing makes so many jealous because people choose to share picture-perfect moments that make your life look like a fantasy on unending positive experiences.
You don’t find people sharing things that don’t go right. But face it, nothing in life is completely perfect.
It’s a good thing that you can’t smell pictures, because, well, while everything looks beautiful in them, the restroom odor… We called our host, and his response to the exaggerated odiferousness was to, “try taming it by pouring in some Fabuloso…”
There are many exceptional chemical packs for RV/marine restrooms that really work. We know, because and after trial and error in our own RV, we NEVER had odor issues. Pouring Fabuloso in?? That’s NOT the way to do it, and no, that wouldn’t work, sorry.
Still and all, with the restroom door closed, it wasn’t so bad. I’ll admit, many would not have stood for the restroom situation, and I’d completely understand anyone who’d have given up right then. After all, would you want to have to get in a canoe at 3 AM, in the dark, then paddle for 15 minutes to get to a restroom? And then paddle all that distance back to the boat, just to get back to bed?
So we chose to make do with our on-board facilities. Truthfully, with the skylight open and deck doors open, the brisk breeze reduced any stray nefarious odors to pretty tolerable levels.
Now back to the positive, which for the most part, was our overall experience.
There’s something beautiful about being surrounded by the water, no lights except flashlights and the twinkling stars above. The cove was very calm, so fears of waves and nausea were, thankfully, completely unfounded.
Our host had also given us a green underwater light to hang off the back deck into the water, which was supposed to attract fish for us to see.
We did have inexpensive underwater Go-Pro-type action cameras, which we wanted to try and capture some underwater images, but the quick-moving tide churned up silt and no fish we could see, so we gave up after a few unsuccessful attempts.
The upper deck was beautiful to sit and relax on, and the gentle water and wind sound and seclusion were quite pleasant. The American flag at the back of the boat, was pretty much the only sound, as it flapped unceasingly in the breeze.
We headed inside to bed, and the gentle motion on the water lulled us to sleep. We both slept quite comfortably until morning.
I awoke early and went up to the top deck to watch the early sun rise on the horizon. And then I hear a splash. About fifty feet off the boat, there were dolphins, playfully frolicking in the water. Awesome!! And that was something we definitely don’t see back home.
I chose not to awaken my wife, or to even run and get the camera, opting instead to just take in the experience. It’s not always about the pictures, and I’m (sometimes) cognizant to remember to live in the moment.
The dolphins actually came within a few feet of the boat, and it really was something to see.
When my wife did awaken a bit later, I told her about it, and as I was saying it, the dolphins came back for a spin. This time I grabbed the camera and snapped a few pictures for posterity. Definitely cool.
We davened in the tropical solitude on the deck, had a delicious breakfast of bagels and fried eggs, and off we went in our canoe to head to our car and start our day.
We tied up our canoe at the marina and drove our rental car out into the main road on the island of Islamorada, stopped in a local grocery store, and loaded up on water, some drinks, and snacks for the day.
I’m a fan of stopping in the visitor’s centers to see if anything piques my interest, but the Islamorada one was somewhat uninspiring, so we just snapped a picture of a cute stone manatee mascot they had outside and continued exploring by car.
Passing by a small Jetski Rental sign at a side of the road marina, we called them to see about rentals.
JSK Watersports turned out to be a small family-run operation, friendly, happy to help and their sign said that they even offered snorkeling options, too.
We loved the sign they had hanging on a tree as well that said:
Advice from a Tree:
– Stand tall and proud
– Go out on a limb
– Remember your roots
– Drink plenty of water
– Be content with your natural beauty
– Enjoy the view!
(Warning… not for the faint of heart!)
By S.A. Rowner
There are two kinds of vacations. At least in my opinion.
There’s the vacation that you take, to just kick up your feet and relax, with a drink at your side, and do nothing but breathe.
Maybe I’ll enjoy those someday, but for now, I can’t imagine doing that for more than 45 minutes without dying of boredom. Ok, maybe not dying, but you get the gist.
And the other kind is a vacation where you transplant yourself to somewhere different. A different climate, attractions you can’t do back home, unusual scenery, etc.
The second type is more my speed – so long as we leave the kids – or at least most of them – back home to actually enjoy the experience.
One of the easiest (and most economical) destinations is Florida, and with good reason. Firstly the climate is tropical – the perfect escape and why so many folks transplant themselves there entirely each winter. The word “snowbird” – was coined just for them.
Many people go the tried and true route of taking a kosher villa, renting a hotel room, or just setting up with resident friends for a few days for their break. Florida Kosher Villas with beautiful kosher vacation villas in North Miami Beach, Hollywood, and Boca Raton is an awesome choice.
But tried and true? Not, I. At least not the time I’m telling you about in this story.
We wanted quiet, privacy and to snorkel the reef, and for all those reasons, we chose to stay in the Florida Keys, a string of islands that runs southwest off the tip of Florida all the way to Key West.
Having driven the famed overseas highway end-to-end before, staying overnight midway on the island of Marathon in a mom-and-pop type hotel, we looked for a somewhat different experience this round.
We chose a small houseboat, moored in a private cove off of Islamorada.
It’s not for everyone, and it was a bit risky because the guy had no reviews, but the price was attractive, and the pictures looked decent, so we decided to go for it.
We flew into FLL, (Fort Lauderdale we have found to be a much more efficient airport than MIA in Miami), rented a car, and bought ourselves an assortment of takeout food in foil pans that we could reheat, after kashering the stovetop.
Stovetop? Yes, believe it or not, most decent-sized boats have the same amenities as RV’s, including a stove, oven, refrigerator, couch, and yes, a bathroom and shower, (because I know your itching to ask!)
It really gives a new twist to the definition of “living off the land.”
Disclaimer 1 – we had already been to South Florida at least five or six times before and experienced much of the regular stuff, so we were looking for a new experience.
Disclaimer 2 – We own and have traveled in RV’s several times across multiple states, so we did have more experience than the average frum family with off-the-grid appliances.
That being said, we made up to meet our host at a marina on the island of Islamorada, perhaps an hour and a half drive from Miami, where he ferried us in his motorboat to our accommodations.
It was a lovely ride, and the only ride we’d be getting to the boat or back to shore for the next three days, aside from paddling the canoe he provided us with – a 10-15 minute paddle that could be relaxing or rigorous, depending on the tides.
Our host introduced us to the boat, the ‘Jenny,’ (his pet generator), and a couple of things niggled at us, but he was really a nice enough fellow, and we soon enough sent him on his way.
In a nutshell, the peace and solitude were fantastic, after a wipe down of all the surfaces the place was decently clean, and there was a skylight at the foot of the beds that, the way the boat was anchored, brought a continuous fresh breeze over the beds and through the boat out the back glass sliding doors, where there was a back deck with some chairs.
As the boat had no working engine, our sole means of getting anywhere – our canoe – was tied here as well.
The nicest part of the experience was the top deck, where a setup of outdoor seating was arranged for relaxing in the sound of the waves.
We kashered the burners, toiveled some cookware right off the back of the boat, and settled in for night one off the land and the grid.
…so you don’t have to make them yourself.
By S.A. Rowner
Sometimes you have to learn things the hard way.
Like the time I went skiing for the first time, when I was about nineteen or twenty years old and came down an entire frozen mountain, painfully on my posterior. Most of that pain was probably shame.
You see, I grew up in the era where roller skating was cool. Very cool, in fact. So cool, that it pushed you into the top tier of (perceived) advanced athleticism, at least in the eyes of the neighborhood kids.
A skinny, fast runner who loved active fun but hated structured sports, this was a really fun outlet for me to pursue.
So when my grandparents gifted each of us kids our own pair of roller skates, we were really quite thrilled!
They say you can’t forget how to ride a bike. I’ll conjecture that for most, it’s because it isn’t so simple to learn how to in the first place, and that is its long-term reward. I’d say that roller skating shares those similarities as well.
But hey, kids are resilient, particularly when our reputation is on the line!
Suffice it to say, my siblings and I became quite good at roller skating, and in many ways it was even preferable to our bikes, given the many smooth empty roadways in the Yeshiva complex in which we lived.
But to transfer that skill set to skiing required money and parents with the time and willingness to drive the distances needed to reach the ski resorts – neither of which were viable options in the large family I grew up in.
After Mesivta and a year in Beis Medrash, I began working my first job at 18, and bought my first car. Since I now had both the car and the means, (along with my now kind of obsolete roller skating skills), I was ready to join the exciting world of downhill skiing!
Should be quite a simple segue for such a talented, athletic guy like me, right?
Wrong.
With my younger brother, an avid roller-blader who was at least twice as athletic as I in tow, we headed one winter morning to Pennsylvania, home to many ski resorts, and only about an hour and a half drive from our Passaic home.
Arriving at the resort, my brother confidently rented the newest really cool toy, a snowboard and that was pretty much the last i saw him for the rest of the day.
I swaggered up to the rental counter, ready to proudly prove my fantastic skiing profess to the entire mountain. My cockiness must have impressed the guy choosing the skis, because he handed me a skinny, long, speedy set of expert skis, never intended for the beginner I really was.
Or maybe I didn’t actually impress him. Perhaps he saw right through my charade, and cunningly decided that a lesson in humility was due me, so he purposely selected me that particular set of skis.
I guess I’ll never really know his true intentions. But I do know the results.
Notwithstanding – no really, not-with-standing, – I carefully slipped and slid my precarious way to the hills to strut my stuff.
The bunny hill where everyone learns to ski, well that was for everyone, right? I wasn’t just anyone. I was a puffed-up, cocky, cool dude who’d master this skiing thing in the first three-seconds of moving, I assured my foolish self.
Bypassing the bunny slopes, I confidently attempted to remain upright as I slipped, slid, and jockeyed my way onto the lift to the highest intermediate level slope in the entire place.
Watching everyone cruise down the mountain underneath me, my assuredness grew. This was going to be a breeze – I could barely wait to get to the top to be those guys.
A ski lift doesn’t stop at the top. The slope begins immediately, as you raise the bar and slide off your seat into the slope, where you are supposed to make a quick one hundred and eighty degree turn to the main trail down the mountain.
I confidently slid off the seat and was off.
Where my skis promptly crossed one another, landing me in a heap on the snow.
Must’ve started wrong. No big deal. Up we go. Left ski pole up, right foot up, right ski slip, owch!
I didn’t know I could do a forward split.
Painfully getting to my feet, my way down the mountain was downhill from there. No, really!
Soon completely numb bottom, skis tucked uncomfortably under me, (figurative) tail between my legs, and head buried in shame, it took nearly thirty minutes (!) to make my frozen way down in shame.
It was both my first and last ski trip that season. A year later, I learned to ski from the ground up, and with effort and expense, was cruising black diamond expert trails by the end of the day. But it was worth every penny!
When people spend their hard-earned time off on a vacation, there are some who like I did, feel confident and capable of pulling it all off on their own. They never anticipate that failure is an option, and do you really want to fail at your vacation?
Wintertime is prime season for a kosher Florida vacation. Sure, you can try it yourself, pressing your luck with an AirBnB and hoping for the best, but what if things go wrong? Was it really worth trying to skimp?
At Florida Kosher Villas, private luxury kosher villas in Florida and other frum areas is ALL that we do.
Because your vacation time is precious. And making the mistake of trying it on your own, could land you in a pile of uncomfortable snow.
Learn from my mistakes. Don’t waste your time trying to find the options.
With more than thirteen years of kosher villas in Florida, make the right choice the first time, and truly enjoy the experience.
Yes! And here’s why you want them to stay…
South Florida is home to beautiful weather, amazing attractions, Florida Kosher Villas and yes, millions of little lizards running around everywhere.
But hey, no need for panic.
These guys are part of the scenery and the sunny weather nature life around here, and if you let them, will be a memorable and enjoyable part of your Florida experience.
Here are a few common questions and answers frequently asked by our guests:
1) Are lizards pests?
Nope! No matter what part of Florida you’re in, you will see lizards.
While these may seem frightening to people not used to seeing these amazing critters at home, think of lizards as the squirrels of Florida.
Just like there are squirrels in the yards and trees back home, these guys live here and are part of the beautiful tropical scenery.
2) Will I see them?
Indoors, most likely not. Outside, most probably, yes.
Just take a look – these little guys love gardens, trees, plants and getting their sun tan on while laying on the sidewalks. Lizards love to bask (lay out in the sun) so this is why you will often see them in the direct sunlight.
On occasion, a lizard may find its way under an overhang, in a door frame, or even, (eek!) inside. Not to worry, though. That simply means they didn’t want to overheat, and are taking a break from the sun.
3) Should I pick them up?
Every kid (adults & pets too) loves to chase these little guys around. The odds of someone catching them are extremely slim. However, if you do catch one, be gentle. If you put them on in your hand, they like their back rubbed gently.
4) Will they bite me?
Not if you don’t bother them.
If you do pick up a lizard in a way it doesn’t like, there’s a good chance it will bite you, but don’t worry – it won’t hurt – it will feel more like a soft pinch.
5) Are they venomous? Should I see a doctor?
No, you will not need to go see a doctor if you are bitten by a lizard.
We recommend you wash your hands with soap and water and rub some alcohol on the area that is bitten if anything. They are not harmful to humans.
6) They’re cute! Can I keep one?
Once you’re done holding the lizard, put it back where you found it since its family is likely nearby and they are actually very helpful in making your visit more comfortable.
7) Comfortable? Helpful? What do you mean?
Lizards eat the insects that we don’t like! Spiders, mosquitoes, flies and more – All the more reason for you to vacation in a Florida Kosher Villa.
8) Yikes! What is that large, scary-looking lizard I see?
You likely just saw an iguana. They won’t bother you at all, just keep a few steps back.
For a real treat, head out for a walk along the Snake Creek Canal – a great place near many of our villas – and see if you can spot the large iguanas that tend to congregate there – hint: check the trees.
9) Should I do anything about lizards I encounter?
When you see a lizard in Florida, just remember, they are just having fun and looking for the bugs we don’t like so don’t try to kill them, and you’ll have less bothersome insects around!
If one has made its way inside your villa, open a door or window, and gently prod it back outside using a broom or something similar.
Remember, he’s part of your Florida experience, so enjoy the visit!
Where should you stay when looking for the best kosher vacation rental in Sunny South Florida? LuxuryKosherVillas.com of course.
Find Florida Kosher Villas for rent HERE.
For Heaven’s Sake!
By: S.A. Rowner
Why I did it is a whole other story, but I used to teach 9th 10th, and 11th-grade boys. In two Yeshiva High Schools.
Ok, teach might be a strong word. You might call torture, or probably more aptly, glorified babysitting where I entertain young adults while attempting to maintain order and convey some information that they’ll find useful enough to pay attention to. For 40 minutes.
I know what you’re thinking. Good luck with that!
So it takes some creative manipulation of Science, Technology, Engineering, Physics, and Math to hold their attention each week, while hopefully improving and building on their knowledge of the subject matter each week.
Hey, they didn’t fire me, so something must have worked.
I guess I was a pretty expensive babysitter. But in all seriousness, I did enjoy doing it. Most of the time. I also gained from them. In some cases, a bruised ego, and in others, some enjoyable back and forth.
The expression in Pirkei Avos states “Umitalmidai Yoser Mikulam”, and from my students, I learned more than from anyone else.
So when the subject matter captures their interest, the questions come flying fast and furious, usually necessitating me to have to research the material further to get a deeper understanding and give them some real answers.
Which is how a class in Newton’s three laws of motion became a class in car crashes, which became a class in transportation methods, which morphed into a class on high-speed rail systems, which segued into a class in Hyperloop technology, which sped into a class about Tesla vehicle innovations, which shot into a class on rocket technology, which then escalated into a class on SpaceX.
A common denominator of many of our classes not surprisingly was Elan Musk, largely known as a major disruptive force across multiple industries.
His electric vehicle technology took the world by storm. Despite setbacks and delays, the company is producing and innovating at such a rate, that Elon recently surpassed Jeff Bezos of Amazon fame’s wealth to become the world’s richest billionaire.
And Tesla only turned its first profit in the second quarter of 2020! That’s an incredibly wild statistic, considering.
The man seems unstoppable, merging technologies from his energy business with solar power, self-driving tech innovations, and mega-production plants at a pace that is almost frenetic.
When he founded SpaceX in 2002, would anyone have believed that in a few short years, he’d have his own rocket plant, create recoverable rocket launchers, and surpassed all of NASA’s 135 space missions by number in all their years of operation!
It reached a point where SpaceX holds multiple NASA contracts to deliver both humans and cargo into space, and the company is less than twenty years young!
Elon’s lesser-known start was his 1999 founding of X.com, which shortly merged with the better-known money transfer company Paypal. By 2019, his name was world-renowned for his many other world-altering achievements.
Unorthodox by nature, why he created the world’s most successful electric vehicle company is understandable. Its user-friendly, cool designs coupled with his unending quest for perfection and the novelty of a concept that could affordably compete with the big boys, made the world stand and take notice. Add in the “Go Green” movement, and the recipe for success took off.
So much so, that when he unveiled his Cyber Truck electric pickup, and accidentally smashed its purportedly armored glass on stage at the launch, he still received 146,000 pre-orders in the first day and a half!
This guy seems invincible!
And when we had a class on his new Intergalactic Starship that is in its ninth-generation, of design and testing, the best line was said by one of my students in a burst of quick-thinking wit.
I had asked my class, why do you think Elon created SpaceX, for heaven’s sake?
Without batting an eye, the student answered: Exactly. For heaven’s sake.
Your vacation planning shouldn’t be rocket science.
In fact, successfully ensuring that your next kosher vacation is smooth, relaxing, and without any unpleasant surprises is really quite easy to achieve.
Simply reach out to the company that has disrupted the kosher vacation industry, making hotel stays and futile kosher vacation rental home searches on the likes of VRBO and Airbnb obsolete.
LuxuryKosherVillas.com.
Kosher vacation rentals in Upstate NY, Kosher vacation rentals in Monsey, NY, Kosher vacation homes in the Catskills, Kosher vacation homes in the Monroe, and beyond.
With over a decade of experience in the kosher vacation rental business, you’ll agree that there is no better way to go.
Now you know, so make Elon Musk proud and see you at one of LuxuryKosherVillas.com luxurious kosher vacation rentals in New York, New Jersey, Florida, South Carolina, and our many other exciting locations very soon.
For heaven’s sake!